Contemplation

I feel like time absolutely left me standing last year – 2010 went by in a blur. As I look back over the year it seems to have been a month not 12 months and what has happened? How have I been impacted by the world around me and indeed what impact have I made on the world?

I’m afraid this blog is going to be a bit self indulgent as it’s that time of year when I look back and usually in a melancholic manner at the previous year. For the last 20 years I have kept a journal – sometimes writing in it every day, other times every month but this last year I wrote in it exactly 5 times!

It’s significant to me that even though there have been many amazing, wonderful and horrible things that have happened last year in 2010 I’ve not felt compelled enough to write about them. Is that because we are living in such a fast world now that as soon as one thing happens another comes along to take its place? It’s difficult to take stock, step back and actually acknowledge those moments. I know I talk about this much in my blogs which is why I’m amazed at my own lack of really being part of my life in 2010.

Of course we are all part of our own lives – it stands to reason that we know what’s going on in our lives and are in control (to some extent) of our choices and decisions, but when you look back now over the year what really stands out to you?

As I write this also it strikes me that maybe social media, blogs and such have actually taken the place of writing journals? Maybe that’s why I’ve not felt such a need as I’ve been actually sharing my thoughts and feelings with the world through blogging. How scary is that? What is private these days? and is that a good thing, that everything is so out there now…? What about our own private processing of life? Of course that depends very much on the type of person you are. I’m amused by what people say on face book – how we share the things we do on an hourly basis – somehow it seems to make people feel connected to others in a new way.

I know I’ve had a good year in many ways. We have grown as a family to the extent that my kids can all be playing nicely in the house while I write this and my husband works in his office. That wouldn’t have been possible last Christmas as the kids wanted constant attention. Also I know I’ve moved on in my business pursuits and have grown personally through networking, speaking, writing and generally being around different people. I desperately miss my Dad who passed away in July 2009 and this Christmas I feel more of a hole then last.

So I will continue to send my blogs and one of my goals for this year will be to write more of my private, personal thoughts in my journal – who knows they may make a best seller book some day!