Walk in others shoes

It’s amazing how you never notice things until they happen to you.  I find this phenomenum fascinating.  Like when you buy a new car and think “no-one I know has this” and then you see them everywhere, or you buy a new top and suddenly you see loads of other people wearing it.  It happens with trivial things but also with really important, life-changing things.

Recently my Father passed away.  He was fairly young, quite healthy and it was a shock to us all.  Over the months since it’s made me think of all the people I know who’ve lost parents, loved ones and I couldn’t understand, didn’t realise what a deep wound it is and how their worlds have been shaken.

The same can be said of adopting our children.  I knew very few people who’d adopted before and now I meet them virtually every day.  It’s like somehow my eyes have been cleaned, a radar attached to my head and I’m actually aware of what’s around me.

There are good results of this phenomenum and not so good.  Meeting others who’ve adopted is always great – to hear their stories, successes and struggles and to be able to connect with someone else in this way.  However meeting those who have lost only seems to bring the pain closer to the surface and make me think about how selfish we can be.  You see for someone who’s lost, their world has stopped spinning, time has stood still – for how long they don’t know.  But for those of us observing, however close we are, it’s gutting for a while but then life moves on – jobs have to be done, kids have to be fed etc.

It’s been said many times that “If you want to understand someone walk a mile in his shoes”, I can see that but do we need to walk in their shoes or can we just learn to see what’s going on around us?  Emotional intelligence is a well used phrase these days but what does it really mean?  Does it mean we are able to see and feel what others are feeling – empathy?  Or is it more about being able to manage our own emotions?

I heard the shoe analogy from a different slant this week – “before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and have their shoes!”

So as you go about your life this week, look around and think about what part of the journey others are on – are they racing along enjoying the scenery? Have they taken a break to get fuel? Are they broken down and waiting for someone to help….?  We weren’t meant to struggle through life on our own, the smile you give someone, the helping hand or even better the empathy to connect and understand, could make all the difference to someones life today – and to yours!