What are you afraid of?

There are so many things people are afraid of – spiders, heights, balloons, clowns but the thing I find the most fascinating is when we’re afraid of ourselves…I’ve met so many people, and have been one myself at times, when the thought of really looking at yourself – face on – is really daunting.

What if I can’t manage my anger? What if I’ll never be good enough? What if I’ll always be last in the line? All those self demotivating questions and thoughts in our minds. The way we avoid these questions is intriguing too – many of us just don’t acknowledge they are there – “I’m fine, everything’s great”, “with some positive mental attitude I can overcome my weaknesses and succeed”. I’m not saying you can’t do that but the avoidance of what some call the shadow or dark side of ourselves will not help us live with them.

What we resist persists and states become traits – very twee maybe but I’ve been mulling over these phrases lately and think they are true. The things we try to run away from, or avoid in our lives generally find a way to trip us up. Also the things we allow to grow in our lives become traits eventually. I’ve always wanted to be a mild and placid person, calm and not easily angered. It appears that isn’t for me and I’ve spent nearly 40 years wrestling with a volatile personality – there have been many victories along the way and many times of failure, but the one thing I can say is that I strive to be the best version of me I can be.

A very interesting take on this is by a woman called Debbie Ford – in her book ‘The Dark side of the light chasers’ she examines this subject – she shows us how to acknowledge and accept our so-called weaknesses and that in fact these qualities may prove to be important, hidden strengths! I highly recommend this book as a way to open this topic to any of you who want to live a free life, and find ways to live with yourself better. You see the more you run from the things you don’t like in others (usually because we can see them in ourselves) the more they seem to find us out.

So how would it be to face your fears head on? Have a good honest look at yourself and see how you can accept those things you try to deny…..it’s a tricky one I know but certainly ignoring them is not making them go away!

A quote to leave on that has really inspired me in my life the last few years – it may not be the dark side of yourself that you fear the most! “It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world”.

So where are you playing small in your life and what would it be like to play big?