It’s National Adoption week this week and it’s been nearly six years since we entered the fascinating world of adoption. It’s a frustrating, amazing, challenging, life changing world that has stretched me in my capacity in many ways. The process can be a long one before you have the children and then of course nothing is the same after that!
Our story is much like many others. My husband and I tried for children for many years (about 7) and then decided to try other options. IVF seemed the obvious one and we explored that route but then felt that it wasn’t for us. Adoption was the second option and so we started on the roller coaster of a ride to where we are today.
Our family now consists of two adults, two little boys and a little girl – 7, 8 and 9 at the moment and full of life. Much the same as any siblings they fight, laugh a lot, and are very active and very curious. As I’ve heard many parents say becoming a parent changes your lifestyle and your outlook on life. The same is true of adopting, except it all seems to happen overnight, whether you’re prepared when you give birth I don’t know but when an adopted child/children arrive on your door overnight (feels like that anyway), there’s nothing really that prepares you.
I wouldn’t want things any other way but there are times when it’s overwhelming, stressful and feels very alone. There are however many times when it’s fulfilling, fun, rewarding and feels right.
The main change it has brought about in me is something I’ve found in myself that I never knew I had. We wanted a family and who knows why – the feelings were just there. Now though whenever I think about the kind of life my children have had so far, the things they have experienced and not had in their very short lives, when I see the impact and effect it has had on them and could have in the future my heart wants to burst with compassion.
One of the definitions of compassion is ‘the humane quality of understanding the suffering of others and wanting to do something about it’. There’s no way I can really understand their suffering but it does move me to do something about it. I sound like I have all this sorted and that I’m Mother Theresa with my kids (not so as anyone who knows me will know) but I do want to do the best for our kids and to see others given the chance to help children have a fulfilling and functioning life.
Six years and counting – every week is another week of hope – how dramatic! But it is another chance to do something good and to make a difference. I want others to be able to do the same – to be able to give other children the chance they need and also for adults to have the family they want.
This week spare a thought for adoption – whether it’s something you could consider, you know someone who would consider or you would like to contribute to the organizations that help children find families. Here are a few if you want to check them out:
