How are you carrying your load?
I don’t know about you but everytime someone asks me to take on more there’s that voice in my head that says – “how can I do anymore – I have a job, kids, husband, house, friends, family etc!” BUT are we missing out on things that could really make a significant change in our lives by dismissing taking on more?
I’ve also been mulling over some thoughts recently from someone giving a talk to women about being able to ‘carry your own load’ – what’s that about you ask? Well it’s looking at the things we have to carry in our lives; responsibilities, roles, tasks – all the things that we are actually meant to carry but somehow we’re not carrying them well.
This lady, Charlotte Scanlon-Gambill goes on to talk about the ways we try to carry our load that are not helping us:
1) Spinning plates. She talks about throwing your load up in the air and trying to spin them like plates. The problem with that is there’s no peace, no rest as there’s always something about to fall – whether the marriage, friends, kids, job – it’s just too hard to keep them all spinning. The other thing with this is that those things know they are being spun – our partners do, children do and friends do. There’s minimum contact with plate spinning and that’s not how we’re supposed to carry our load.
2) Secondly there are those of us who are martyrs to our load. We are carrying it but man is it difficult and we let everyone know about it! I can see myself in this sometimes – I make a point of telling my husband how many times I’ve done the dinner this week and put the kids to bed. We’re carrying our load but making heavy weather of it!
3) Also there’s the adders – those who carry their load but have added things along the way – fear, worry, resentment, disillusionment, comparisons – they are easy to pick up but they are making our load too heavy to carry.
So what’s the point to this – well it’s made me consider what is my load to carry? What should I be taking on, am responsible for and what needs to be dropped? Also how am I carrying that load? Do those people close to me feel like I pay them minimal attention to keep them happy or am I complaining constantly about my load?
I want to be a resilient, responsible, capable person who knows what she is responsible for and is carrying her load well. More importantly that those closest to me know how important they are to me and that I choose to be with them and love them.
How about you? What is your load like? Is it too heavy? If so what have you picked up along the way and how are you carrying that load? Do yourself and those you love a favour – take some time to assess and adjust. Life can feel like a burden sometimes but let’s make it as light as we can!
Tags: capability, personal fulfillment, resilience, responsibility
