I read an article recently entitled “who’s stolen my confidence?” that sparked questions in me. What is it about self-belief and confidence that is so difficult for us to grasp? Can someone actually steal it or do we give it away? It sounds as trivial as losing your purse or keys for a few moments, like “oh I’ve left my self-belief somewhere, where was that…?” Is it indeed something that can be there one minute and then gone the next?
We humans are strange beings, we are forever surprised when the downs come in our lives, but could we live on the mountaintop all the time? There seems to be a cycle that we go through – Jim Rohn describes it as opportunity then difficulty – sometimes there’s more opportunity, sometimes there’s more difficulty. There are times when you step out and achieve something, your confidence is high and then there’s an almighty crash…we allow ourselves to forget that wonderful achievement in a second.
I heard a theory recently that’s really stuck with me. When you have a great idea, an opportunity arises and you’re on a high where hope abounds. Then there comes a dip when the doubts flood in, “could I really do this?”, “who do I think I am?”, “no-one will go for this” and your confidence takes a dive. Then if the idea is solid it starts to find its own way and you come up again on a level of confidence – that you can make it work. Most of us want to skip from hope to confidence straight away and miss out the dip. This dip is called the valley of discovery – this is where you find out things about yourself you didn’t know, you see the perseverance and courage you have to make things work. You spend time in this valley and your belief in yourself can be restored.
Self-belief is misunderstood. Is it about knowing we can do things, achieve the goals we have? Or is it about being content in who we are? If I fail this test, or mess up the next presentation what does that say about me? Am I still valuable, will I still contribute to the organisation? So much is placed on what we do as opposed to who we are. Our children grow up believing they have to meet all the external standards put on them, when little is mentioned of integrity, perseverance, character and contentment. Wouldn’t it be great if we held onto our self-belief whatever happened to us? That we could be content in all circumstances, whether in want or in plenty….let’s strive for that!
I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this small article and I aim to get these out every few weeks. If you know of anyone else who would appreciate this please pass on. I’m currently promoting my 1-2-1 coaching package ‘Resilience’ which helps people understand themselves, be sure of their value and be able to face those difficulties that come and grabbing every opportunity.
Tags: Confidence, Great Ideas, Self Belief
This is a great article…and I ‘happened’ to read it at just the right time. The time when I’m in that ‘dip’ that you mentioned and I’d forgotten all about anything that I have or can accomplish. This article has given me so much to think about. Thanks! Please keep them coming.
To be content in all circumstances.
If there was a ‘like’ button I would be pressing it!
Great article, look forward to the next one.